Too little time

It can be a curse to be creative. Take, for example, the Print & Pattern blog that fellow artist Karissa Chase recently shared on Facebook:

http://printpattern.blogspot.com/

This blog is a delight to look at, but at the same time it gives me a crushing headache and the desire to hide under a piece of furniture. How can this be?

I'll tell you. I want to be able to take my art "out there" someday to the licensing world, and in particular this clean style of illustration (for lack of a better term....whatever IS it called, anyway) is something I don't know how to do. Something tells me it is done in Illustrator. Being self-taught and not having enough money to buy Illustrator, I am not yet up to speed on that program. Not to mention the time it would take.

And as I mentioned, I am trying to write.

And market my cat art as it exists in its current form, which is acrylic painted, primitive in style.

And mother, and homeschool, and once in a while wave a mop at my house in hopes that I can make it look a little less like the Munsters' home.

I am whining, I admit it. But I just don't know what to do. Sometimes it is easier just to blog and forget the whole thing. A nice online version of water-treading that gets me absolutely nowhere, not the slightest bit closer to my goals.

Pulled in too many directions

It may seem, at first glance, like things aren't that well in my creative life. After all, I have not blogged here in months! The truth is, I've been doing too much to blog.

Some time within the last month or so, I have decided to take my writing seriously. I've been writing personally for as long as I can remember, and have a trunk full of journals to prove it. But I recently became too fed up with sitting on the outside looking in for it to continue one more day.

It's one thing to suspect I probably should have been a writer, when all the writers I know of are strangers, far away. They are mere names at the library, or on the bookstore shelves, or sitting on Oprah's couch on a book tour, smiling blankly at me from book jackets. But it became altogether different when my friends and fellow moms revealed themselves to be writers. Real people--right at arm's length! Human beings! Mortals, juggling family responsibilities just like mine! Oh hell, I can do this, I thought. I ought to get in the game and stop stalling, stop waiting for that perfect world where someone's paying my bills for me and I have 8 hours each day in front of a sunny window, coffee cup in hand and cat in lap, before I start pushing myself to stretch. Not just to spill into a notebook, but to go back, to edit, to improve.

[Mind you, I don't do much of any of that in my blogging. Who has the time? I am lucky I get to speak here at all, but I digress.]

I just knew it was time, not only to work on my non-fiction essays, to polish them up and send them out for publication, but also to tackle the age-old question: why don't I ever write fiction? Personality-wise, and in the way I think and observe the world, I seem so much like so many writers out there--fiction writers. So the other day I bought a copy of The Writer's Digest Guide to Creativity, and started to try their fiction prompts. What fun! And I've also begun to take the advice of every writing book or article I've read thus far: read, read, read. This is where I have historically fallen flat, and could be why I have never been drawn to fiction.

Meanwhile, the daily responsibilities of my life continue: housewife, homeschooling mom, freelance artist....so blogging sometimes has to wait. It's worth it.

Found an old sketch pad tonight

I was clearing out an old corner of the basement tonight and came across one of my old sketch pads. I am so glad I opened it up to take a peek, though I must say it was rather jarring. Inside this modest 5x8 sketch pad was a glimpse into my life in the year I first met my husband. The sketch pad is full of--(get ready for it)--sketches!

You may wonder why that sounds weird, but let me tell you that eleven years later, sitting here typing at 9 pm with a 6-year old still chattering to himself in his room when he's supposed to be asleep, the idea of having a sketch pad and the kind of time to not only DO a ton of fun stuff but then DRAW it all as it happened.....it strikes me as breathtaking. Nowadays, I can't even sit and read for five minutes without some interruption or some duty, beckoning. But I digress. Let me share with you one of the things I wrote in the sketch pad. It's a favorite of mine.

When You Walk, You See the Cats - 4/24/98

"I have lived in this neighborhood a week or two already, and every day I've looked at it through the window of my car. I zoom to and from work or errands, only fleetingly aware that this section of town exudes history and elegance. Old colonial houses, set amid giant trees at least the same age, speak of a time gone by, and I am usually too harried to listen. Today I decided to do what always must be done--set out on foot.

"When you walk, you see it all up close. Slowed down, you can hear it all--every kind of bird, every child's voice, every strain of music drifting through an open window. You can smell the food being cooked, the barbecues, spring's new flowers and the fallen buds that cover the ground fresh from last night's rain. And walking is when you see the cats. In windows, on steps, curled on porch chairs and baking in the sun on the driveway.

"A cat lover, I enjoy knowing where the neighborhood cats live. I don't know what good it really does me to know such a thing, but it makes me smile to pass them by, to see their tranquil, smile-like gazes. Outside, a cat is king or queen of the kingdom. You can see it in their body language. And they are so beautiful against whatever backdrop, especially this one. Quiet, fragrant, alive with spring getting under way. Beneath this blue evening sky, these grand old houses, these are my new neighbors. I am glad I walked tonight."

"Baby books" for dogs and cats

Pet owners, I need to hear from you. Word has it that serious pet owners would enjoy having a "baby book" to commemorate the events of their pet's life. Not to mention it would be a great gift to give a pet owner who just got a new puppy or kitten (or ferret, or chinchilla......)

So tell me, what kinds of pages would you like to see in a baby book for a pet? To get started, I would guess:
--a page for the day the pet first came home (and photo of course)
--a page for his favorite places to go
--a page for his favorite animal friends, if any
--a page for the favorite toys
--a page for silly destructive things the pet did (like the day the dog ate the couch stuffing or pooped out little Johnny's long-lost ping pong balls; that sort of thing)
--a page about the pet's grooming experiences

...now, mind you, there are pet books out there, and I could look at them, but I am trying to be original rather than copy someone else's format.

Thanks for any input!

Mini Journals

I am so happy to say I can finally make & bind my own journals!! So far, they've been featuring my kitty art, but the sky really is the limit. The hardest thing seems to be narrowing down my options. Kitties? Doggie "baby books"? Scrapbooks, journals, text, patterns.....? Oh my.

Hand-painted stool, ready to go!

OK, so my husband the professional photographer should have been the one to take this photo, but I could not wait one more day to put it up here on the blog. The nightstand is finally done, and looks way better in person. (It has a kitty scene on both sides)

This nightstand will hopefully soon be available at the colorful, whimsical gift shop called "Serendipity" in Hudson, Mass. I have an appointment there next week to show the owner some of my latest creations.

Recipe for peace - at least for today

I've been struggling lately, with the need to create art in order to earn money for my family, versus the fact that I am utterly devoid of inspiration at the moment. I'm floundering, also wondering what medium would help me express myself should anything worth expressing suddenly make itself known. Do I want to be using acrylics forever?

Sometimes the best thing to do is just back off it. I took out a few books about Buddhism from the library yesterday, as I knew this philosophy would contain just what I need right now. With the last several weeks careening from the economy, straight up to melting ice caps and down to swine flu, I needed a little coaching in the feet-on-the-ground here-and-now. A little advice on learning to live with the reality that I can't control a damn thing and no one gets out of here alive anyway. And I was so right! The Buddhist readings set me on a better path. Today I took the day off from worrying about income or art. I headed to the kitchen and cooked.

Now, if you know me, you know that the fact that I am opting to cook is really saying something. I am a person who always joked, "sure I can cook; I just follow the directions on the box." Though I am eating more healthily these days and avoiding boxed things bearing instructions nearly 100% of the time (mac & cheese being our downfall), it's still not often I spend more than a half hour in the kitchen. But today I decided to make Indian chapatis by hand (actually, is there any other way?). With the help of my wonderful Indian food adviser, Aastha (yes, she is really from India), I added a few ingredients to make them taste good. (Methi powder--aka fenugreek--fennel seeds, salt, pepper and sauteed minced onion, to be exact). Then I made tomato soup from scratch using vine tomatoes, salt, pepper, sugar and sauteed cumin seeds. I also made sugar roti--or at least one version of it--which is basically chapatis with sugar folded into them. My son, who benefited from my peaceful approach today by lolling about in his PJs till the afternoon and making molecules out of clay, enjoyed the sugar roti dipped in honey.

I was so pleased to offer these handmade foods to my family! I did a little laundry, too. All in all a wonderful day. If I keep this up, the art will be happening naturally in no time flat!